THUG LYFE

aspiring writer/artist. struggling for financial/emotional stability. pot smoker. whiskey drinker. english teacher who mis-spells things. 23. Berkeley, California native. currently living in Sao Calors, Brazil.

any writing/photos i post are mine.

angst ridden rhyming poem

what’s in a lie?
preservation of the precived self?
foundations of the addictions?
routine of relationships?

i am a good person and
i am also a liar
and i want my god dam money back.

all this bull shit that clings to the edges of words
of answers
of things that seem to be true.

i like to take drugs to deal with my problems
and i lie about the fact that i do to the people who love me most.

because of course, they dont want me to be drugging myself every time
something bad happens.
because of course, they know how it feels when something bad happens.

stop fucking comparing my life to yours
and yes there are starving children
and yes there are sensless wars
and yes there are millions of people who dont have clean water
and YES my pain still festers in my colin, unspoken and unwritten
unable to be shit out

you tell me all i need to do is belive
that i can do this all by myself

but fuck you
and your expectations

because you have no fucking clue
what its like to be me.

just like
i have no fucking clue
what its like to be you.

did you know that most rape victims never report because they feel
that somehow,
the attack was their own fault?

did you know that the people who are the most kind
are the ones who hurt inside the most?

did you know that there are ten thousand shades of grey,
not fifty?

and did you know that their is a soup of garbage and plastic
the size of texas swirling in the middle of the pacific ocean?

i dont know much of anything
except for that which i have lived
but i do know this;
i am a good person
and i am a lair
i am fat
and i am sexy
i am broken
and i am strong

and i want my god dam money back.
this whole thing is all wrong.

on teaching english in brazil;

my neighbors they must think im crazy
i eat pizza and drink bear and smoke joints and write poetry
on my dark balcony
when i sit down no one can see me

my friends they must think im crazy
because i dont have a tv
who dosent like tv?
they ask me.
its not that i dont “like” it
i just dont enjoy it.

most nights my apartment is silent

on the weekends i drag red dirt up and down
the stairs
my hair curled perfectly and dripping sweet water
behind my footprints
spilled beer and ash
from a day of swimming and
loving existence.

mondays and tuesdays are the wild nights

when friends arrive ate one am
and stay til five

i fucked him til we broke my bed
and heard the neighbors roster call
begging the sun to rise

high heels crack
in the late afternoon
plat prat plat
off to work
back at ten

my neighbors must think im crazy
some kind of prosititue

that has friends who snort cocaine
and live between half truths

on cocaine;

the world is just a reminder
of why you need more

funny how you only notice your heart is beating
when you try to fall asleep

how your house mate’s dishes in the sink
that have festered all week
putrid from your pride
and their ignorance
suddenly
become the pleasure of your sunrise

when you use cocaine so often
that you need it to put your makeup on
for a saturday night

it has long lost its sparkle
of when you were fifteen
drinking whiskey
& having orgasum-less sex in cars
with older men

cocaine is the crutch
that keeps the drunk sober
& it is the knot
that keeps the sober silent

cocaine is borrowed, laughing, hollow.


it is the fly
that cannot stop running into the street light
it is the
pot hole on the highway
you drive over

every day

thepoliticalfreakshow:

African-American Girls & Women Killed By Police: Speak Their Names. See Their Faces. Know Their Stories.
There is this false myth going around that Black women are not victims of police violence. I believe the myth exists because quite frankly the media, social justice organizations and we the public tend not to focus on it. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I hope this post will make all of us change our minds. Here are the stories of some of the Black women and girls killed by law enforcement:
Adaisha Miller, Detroit Woman, Hugged Cop From Behind
LAPD cop charged with assault in death of Alesia Thomas
7-year- old Aiyana Stanley-Jones – Detroit Free Press
17 Year Old Darnesha Harris Dead after Run-In with Breaux
Mackala Ross and Delores Epps
Eleanor Bumpurs
Erica Collins family files lawsuit against Cincy Police
Pleasant Grove crash claims life of second person | AL.com (Heather Parker)
Family grieves after loved one killed in crash with APD (Jacqueline Culp)
Family of victim question police use of deadly force – KWCH (Karen Day)
Kendra James remembered at Portland rally | KOIN.com
Pedestrian Killed on I-95 in Florida (Laporsha Watson)
After Cleveland shooting, cities restrict police chases(Malissa Williams)
Miriam Carey, Capitol Suspect, Suffered Post-Partum Depression
Elderly Woman Shot & Killed By Hearne Police Officer (Pearlie Golden)
Rekia Boyd Settlement: Family Of Unarmed Chicago Woman
Former Pa. trooper pleads guilty in fatal accident (Robin T. Williams)
Shantel Davis Killed By NYPD Cop In Car Chase | News One
Friends: Woman killed by police was nonviolent | Las Vegas (Sharmel Edwards)
Suspected Walmart Shoplifter Shot To Death In Front Of Kids (Shelly Frey)
The NYPD’s Poor Judgment With the Mentally Ill | Village Voice (Shereese Francis)
Harrisburg woman identified as victim in police SUV crash (Shulena S. Weldon)
$2.5M settlement in shooting of Lima woman by police officer (Tarika Wilson)
No Charges in Killing of Tyisha Miller – Los Angeles Times
Texas Police Admit Officer Shot & Killed Unarmed Woman (Yvette Smith)

thepoliticalfreakshow:

African-American Girls & Women Killed By Police: Speak Their Names. See Their Faces. Know Their Stories.

There is this false myth going around that Black women are not victims of police violence. I believe the myth exists because quite frankly the media, social justice organizations and we the public tend not to focus on it. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I hope this post will make all of us change our minds. Here are the stories of some of the Black women and girls killed by law enforcement:

Adaisha Miller, Detroit Woman, Hugged Cop From Behind

LAPD cop charged with assault in death of Alesia Thomas

7-year- old Aiyana Stanley-JonesDetroit Free Press

17 Year Old Darnesha Harris Dead after Run-In with Breaux

Mackala Ross and Delores Epps

Eleanor Bumpurs

Erica Collins family files lawsuit against Cincy Police

Pleasant Grove crash claims life of second person | AL.com (Heather Parker)

Family grieves after loved one killed in crash with APD (Jacqueline Culp)

Family of victim question police use of deadly force – KWCH (Karen Day)

Kendra James remembered at Portland rally | KOIN.com

Pedestrian Killed on I-95 in Florida (Laporsha Watson)

After Cleveland shooting, cities restrict police chases(Malissa Williams)

Miriam Carey, Capitol Suspect, Suffered Post-Partum Depression

Elderly Woman Shot & Killed By Hearne Police Officer (Pearlie Golden)

Rekia Boyd Settlement: Family Of Unarmed Chicago Woman

Former Pa. trooper pleads guilty in fatal accident (Robin T. Williams)

Shantel Davis Killed By NYPD Cop In Car Chase | News One

Friends: Woman killed by police was nonviolent | Las Vegas (Sharmel Edwards)

Suspected Walmart Shoplifter Shot To Death In Front Of Kids (Shelly Frey)

The NYPD’s Poor Judgment With the Mentally Ill | Village Voice (Shereese Francis)

Harrisburg woman identified as victim in police SUV crash (Shulena S. Weldon)

$2.5M settlement in shooting of Lima woman by police officer (Tarika Wilson)

No Charges in Killing of Tyisha MillerLos Angeles Times

Texas Police Admit Officer Shot & Killed Unarmed Woman (Yvette Smith)

(via skanknfurter)